Reading Proactive and Passive from Demeanor and Language

I've talked in earlier posts about reading people by the words they use. One of the ways we do this is by recognizing mental filters from language. Mental filters (also known as meta programs in NLP) are preferences or tendencies. I tend to be Passive, while my husband Mike generally operates at the Proactive side of this filter continuum.

How do you read or recognize this particular aspect of personality?  Sentence structure provides us with some interesting clues. Proactive people typically use short, direct sentences with an active verb structure. I made. I ran. I wrote. Passive people tend to use passive verbs and longer, often convoluted sentences. Mike says, "I read minds."  Pam says, "I have been helping people learn how to read and connect for more than two decades." See the difference?

Passive people also use passive words like thinking, deciding, planning, understanding. Notice the lack of action in those words.  They are "thinking about it" words.

Proactives are also active, meaning they tend to move about a lot, while Passives are more likely to stay stationary. Proactives tend to lean forward, while Passives tend to lean back.

So now that you know how to recognize Proactives and Passives, what can you do with that knowledge?  If you're selling or trying to convince a Passive to do something, what do you think they might need to do before they're ready to buy?  Think about it!  Understand it!  How about the Proactive?  They are ready to jump right in and get it done, so the last thing you want to do is overload them with details or steps that get in the way of them taking action.

What about Proactives and Passives in the workplace? Who would you want in a dangerous front-line situation where you had to react quickly?  Who would you want in a job that required lots of research, planning and design?

In our classes we often use the Ready-Aim-Fire analogy to distinguish between the two. The Proactive version of this is - Fire! The Passive variant is Aim-Adjust the site, Aim, Re-adjust, Re-think the trajectory, Redesign the site.....

How real recollection differs from a fabrication

Aldert Vrij of the University of Portsmouth in England uses a method called Criteria-Based Content Analysis to help police identify whether the retelling of an incident is truthful. The method is based on research indicating that a story of a real recollection differs from a fabrication in specific ways.

According to Vrij, actual experiences have the following properties:

1. They are coherent and consistent but generally not in chronological order.
2. They contain a lot of detail and include unusual and superfluous elements.
3. They depict personal interactions and reiterate speech and conversation.
4. They describe feelings and thoughts - the narrator's and in many cases those the storyteller ascribes to the perpetrator.
5. They contain spontaneous corrections, the admission of memory gaps and doubts about the believability of the story.