How to read people by the words they use

You can learn a lot about a person by simply listening to the words they use.

For purposes of this discussion, let's use the four personality types: Driver, Analytical, Amiable and Expressive. Based simply on the words I'm using in this post, what type do you think I am? OK, I'll give you some more information, because I want you to be able to figure this out on your own. You may need to think through it a couple of times, but I know you'll make sense of it. The mere fact that you're at this site and reading this post means you're curious and you want to learn more.

Figure it out yet? OK, I'll give you a way to compare. Let's imagine that you are interviewing my husband and co-author Michael and me on the same topic. Let's use our book Face Values as an example. You ask this question:

How did you choose this topic to write about?

Pam: After studying NLP and researching different Myers-Briggs and other personality profiling programs, we realized that although each of these programs had merit, there were serious flaws in the logic and serious usability issues. All of them required people to take a test in order for you to know what the other person's personality type is and that simply doesn't make sense if you're one-on-one with someone trying to figure them out.

Michael: I wanted to be more effective communicating with people. I wanted to figure them out. I wanted to understand. I wanted to connect. The psychology excites me. It's hard to fun with people you don't understand.

See the differences in response? Not only in the words used but also in the sentence structure. Mine is long and convoluted, Michael's is short and sweet. Michael is "I" focused, I am "thing" focused (programs, processes, etc.).

Now let's look at the words. Here is a summary of the words and phrases I used:

figure out
think through
make sense
study
know
logic
curious

Now let's look at Michael's words

I (I want to.... I am.....)
understand
communicate
connect
excite
fun

Now can you identify which type each of us is? One of us is Analytical, the other is Expressive.

If you've enjoyed this post consider reading a copy of our book Face Values: How to read people and connect with them in less than 3 minutes.